Uncertainty

In this journey toward adoption, very little is certain. One day we have a victory: the foster care review board recommends termination of parent rights, parole is denied, siblings are reunited. The next feels like defeat: visitations at prison, cancelled court dates, a relative requesting a home study.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I know that God loves me more than I can fathom. I know that He has ordered my steps. I want these children to be with me forever. But even if we just have today, it will be a blessing. God has heard the cries of my heart for these children. He knows the path that is set before me. I live in uncertainty. It has strengthened my faith and shown me how little faith I have.

What sustains me? Today's sermon was about how the Gospel sustains us. I want to live in anxiety when the bad news comes. The enemy would have me lose my focus and be incapacitated by worry. My pastor and my parents remind me to go back to the Word.

Psalm 116 has always comforted me. I turn to it over and over again. "He has inclined his ear to me." "You, Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling."

A friend recommended the devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. If you are living in a period of uncertainty and need encouragement, I would recommend it to you. From today's reading: "I am with you and for you. You face nothing alone--nothing! When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving me out of the picture....I will get you safely through this day and all your days. Each day is a precious gift from My Father. How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today's is set before you."